Feeedback Week #1: B. Levels of language

1. Be conscious of levels of language and practice saying the same thing in different ways.

Example:

X: Did you like Mr. Suzuki?

or

X: Did you like Tom?

Y: I suffered his presence.
Like is such a strong word.
I don't like Mr. Suzuki.
I don't like Tom.
Mr. Suzuki is a (insert profanity).
Tom is a (insert profanity).

N.B. I advise you to start out super polite and be conservative in your language use.Use titles in address and references (Hello, Ms. Garcia; Then, Mr. Bucci said). Use of a lot of language, elaboration and ornamentation is generally seen as softening, and more polite (We are taking your comments under advisement and referring your suggestions to our superiors. Your patience during this time is appreciated and we recognize the importance of your time. or We regret to inform you that at this time we have no openings for positions as lateral attorneys. Thank you for your interest. We will keep your resume on file. or While we were impressed by your work on the Weiss Saatchi project, we have sought other counsel for work on future similar projects. vs. We are not interested. or No deal. or Better luck next time.

2. Women's language
English has female language. Female language is more deferential, less self assured, uses more language, and is generally more polite. Lack of self confidence is a hallmark of North American heterosexual femininity. This has been changing, however, there is still a strong bias against women using direct language. Because of their own native language traditions, women may not need to be conscious of the use of much more polite language in interactions in English, because they often already use much more polite language than do men. Further, women are more likely to preface an assertion with an apology in order to soften the strength of the statement or to show deference.

As Lorenzo referenced in our class this Wednesday, women in business contexts may feel conflicted between a perceived or real need to be assertive and act confident and the attending perception that in so doing, they will not be perceived as being feminine. On the other hand, use of feminine language is expected, and women can advantage themselves of this in ways generally unavailable to men. Use of apologies as softeners in advance of a negative message is a strategy for communicating something unpleasant is generally not done by men. So men generally must choose between a likely negative response to a perceived aggressive or strong message or not to speak.

A woman may say " I am sorry if my approach was not the best, however you may find...
"Please excuse the perhaps awkward attempt at an analogy, but...."
Of course, men may use similar constructions, but may face greater criticism for not sounding confident.

3. Initiating use of less formal language
English does not have tutoyer/vous voyer but, we do have rituals for telling each other the same message. Social position will most often dictate who "speaks up" with polite language and who "speaks down." Generally, use titles and more formal discourse until someone tells you that " You can call me, Bill" or starts using less formal language. This is a bit tricky because sometimes the social distance is so great that even when your speaking partner uses casual language, it is not necessarily appropriate for you to do so.

On a similar note, native speaker subordinates should use more polite English with you. Insistence that they use more casual language may be resisted because of a perceived or real gap in status or as an expression of a desire not to be friendly with you or to communicate displeasure with you. As in other languages, super polite language can be used to communicate the messages "We are not friends" or "You are not welcome" or "I know you are not one of us."